Month: June 2015

There are 7 billion people on this planet, in my 49 years here there have been 11 significant women, 

the first was my mother, who made me who I am
The next to were my sisters who were the first women who I would fight to protect

The next was my first girlfriend, I was 14 years old and i loved her with all my heart till she broke my heart, but still a good friend

Then the was my wife, who I will always care about, she was the mother of the next two, my girls the two most special people in my world, they taught me what it meant to love unconditionally

Then there was my friend who I love with all my heart, she taught me how to be the person I want to be

Next was her, who taught me pain, she push me to the point were I nearly never returned

Then there was a stranger who saved my life one night, and tells me that I saved her she’s special 

And then and finally my one in seven billion, the fixer of my darkness and soulmate till the end 
There are others who have helped me, others who I love, but only one I need to hold a true gift from above 

  

Lost in your eyes, so deep and blue there’s only one women there’s only you, I’ll hold your hand and hold you tight and then you’ll see its all alright

  

Sitting by a window the sun streaming through, warming my bones as I’m thinking of you, music is playing songs are all you, my wonderful women the love of my life, I ask you a question “please be my wife”

  

A cold chill, cold to her bones, she pulls her coat tight around her and increases her pace, this winter had been colder than normal, but that was not in her mind. To many jobs, to many people expecting her to do them. This is her life, but the cold is biting and her nose running. Can’t stop can’t be ill. To many mouths to feed, to many jobs to do, but this cold is biting. Kids to feed, washing, ironing, cleaning, work. If you asked him he’d say the shared the toil, shared the stress, shared the pain. But he’s at work, her in the cold, biting cold. She pulls the coat tighter. She used to dance, used to sing, used to run. Long summers with nothing to do, giggles with her friends. Friends who now go out in the cold, their own toils.  
She arrives and opens the door, the shop, the local everything shop, small and packed with goods, warm and bright, inviting, she goes and finds the milk, some bread and coffee, some chocolate, and a card for him. Valentines day approaching and she’s nothing without him.

  

As the book of life closes, and history moves on, how will I live now that you are gone, not lost or forgotten, still alive inside my mind, your look, your touch, forever oh so kind, not now to feel you touch but your presence in every thought, and I will try to be the stronger, just as you have taught 

  

She lets them go like birds to fly away from her, her dreams and wishes freed to go explore the world, the true ones will come home and and give themselves to her, filling all her emptiness, completing all her hopes, the birds of dreams and wishes, alive prove all her worth, the birds of dreams and wishes giving her the earth    

  

I’m not ok, I say I’m fineIt’s how I cope with pain but my real friends know when I am down and come and hold my hand, for at your lowest you find the truth the ones who really care because at your lowest they’re the ones, the only ones that are there

  

She sits and cries her love is lost all broken but life goes on, the pain of loneliness, the ache of loss, now that he is gone, gone to soon, their future died, as she held him in her arms, but she can’t see the truth of it, he lives within her heart, embracing her, caressing her, nevermore apart  
  

He sits at the same bench as he does everyday, the smell of the sea filling his lungs, seventy years ago as a young boy really, but at the time he thought of himself as a man. he had walked along this quay with his father, not the first time he had been to sea, but the first time as part of the crew.
The sky was blue, that perfect summer blue, the gulls were singing, dive-bombing the sailors as they unloaded one of the last fishing boats, trying of steal the catch.  
the smells never changed, ozone, salt, diesel form the engines and a hint of rotten fish. Smells so familiar that he had to concentrate to notice them.
He did not know any of the current generation of sailors, all younger than his own children. His wife though the years had raised there three children, and raised them well. good kids, but they had moved away, and for the last two years the pain of loneliness had been hard to coupe with. not that he would ever say anything, they had there own lives.
A boat cast off engine note increasing as she gently but with determination, headed toward the open sea. oh how he envied them the freedom, the wind in you hair, salt spray on you face. none on there realised how luckily they were.
He moved on the bench, sitting to long had at some point become painful, when did he become old. the man in the mirror weathered and tired. not the man inside.
The last box was lifted off the and the sale of the catch commenced. shouts as buyers decided the worth of the crew, most for the captain, as he takes all the risk, and a fraction for the boy. do they still have boys ? he doubted it.
Two boys walk past, not a life at sea for the but at least fishing there rods rigged ready to cast, the enthusiasm of the young, he new the tide was wrong to catch much but also new that at that age catching was just the icing on the cake, being free to stare out to sea was reward enough.
oh how he envied them 
so he sits, and fills his lungs with the smells, his ears with the sounds and looks out to sea.
he feels a tug on his sleeve, “Granddad, Daddy said you might be here” as look of pure love in her eyes, and the regrets are gone, the loneliness banished and his life is complete.