I tried not to let it show. The scars and damage. 

My wounded heart , broken 

ribs and soul. The sorrow 

and pain. The thought of 

not being the same as they 

wanted me to be. Society 

was to blame. Took a mattress instead of a boat. Off to the 

river I went to make it float. 

Had nothing with me but white sheets and a pillow. Left my 

books and music back home. 

I watched the fish swim from 

down below between the river 

black and silver grey stones. Wondered for hours in my 

thoughts. Was this decision 

right or was it wrong. To 

runaway miles from home. 

Or to let the voices in my 

head take full control. Laid 

back on my mattress and 

looked above to God’s velvet 

red skies. The sun was setting 

down. It was so calm and quiet. 

The waters created good 

vibes along. Felt like this 

was some kind of meditation. 

I never felt this better with 

out my antidepressants 

medication before. Shut 

my eyes and wondered 

through the empty 

hallways of my mind. 

They were pretty much 

like dark corridors. 

Shadows of the night 

followed along. Shut 

my eyes and listened 

to the soft melodies 

of the gentle currents. 

Thought of staying 

out in the river some 

more and row back 

later to home when 

I feel ready and strong 


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